Talladega Nights Quotes Nice Crack Dealer
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Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby 2006
Ricky Bobby: I m going fast again.
Cal Naughton, Jr.: How fast is he going.
Lucius Washington: 26 miles per hour.
Jean Girard: has Ricky in an arm lock I will let you go, Ricky. But first, I want you to say I love crepes.
Cal Naughton, Jr.: Don t you say it, Ricky. These colors don t run.
Ricky Bobby: I m not gonna say it.
Cal Naughton, Jr.: Good.
Ricky Bobby: Hey, look, Frenchy, I thought about it. So why don t you go ahead and break my arm.
Jean Girard: I do not want to break your arm, Monsieur Bobby, but I am a man of my word.
Ricky Bobby: Here s the deal. He s not gonna break it because I m gonna slip out of it right now. Houdini.
he tries unsuccessfully to get free
Jean Girard: Whoa. Get down, you little pancake.
Ricky Bobby: Someone might as well get me a beer while I m down here.
Jean Girard: But you have forced me to do this. You are now mocking me and making me look ridiculous. Just say, I love crepes.
Cal Naughton, Jr.: You know, just to put this in there, I had a whole mess of crepes this morning. They re just like pancakes, maybe even better.
Ricky Bobby: Wait, are they the really thin pancakes.
Cal Naughton, Jr.: Yeah.
Jean Girard: Yes they are. They are the really thin pancakes. It s just a French word for them.
Ricky Bobby: Oh, my god, I love those.
Cal Naughton, Jr.: Put any syrups you want on them. I m just saying, think about it.
Ricky Bobby: They come with cheese sometimes.
Jean Girard: Yes, of course, a fromage-crepe.
Ricky Bobby: Well, why didn t someone yell that right-right away.
Jean Girard: Do you know what s in the crepe suzette.
Ricky Bobby: Oh, I love the crepe suzette.
Jean Girard: With the sugar and lemon juice
Ricky Bobby: Yeah, the sugar and the lemon juice. Sure.
Jean Girard: Grand Marnier.
Ricky Bobby: I wo - I wish I could crawl into one of those right now. I d eat my way out from the inside.
Ricky Bobby: I will not shake your hand, but I will give you this
kisses Jean Girard
Jean Girard: You taste of America.
Ricky Bobby: Thank you.
on why Ricky should resume his racing career
Susan: It s because it s what you love, Ricky. It is who you were born to be. And here you sit, thinking. Well, Ricky Bobby is not a thinker. Ricky Bobby is a driver. He is a doer. And that s what you need to do. You don t need to think. You need to drive. You need speed. You need to go out there, and you need to rev your engine. You need to fire it up. You need to grab a hold of that line between speed and chaos, and you need to wrestle it to the ground like a demon cobra. And then, when the fear rises up in your belly, you use it. And you know that fear is powerful, because it has been there for billions of years. And it is good. And you use it. And you ride it; you ride it like a skeleton horse through the gates of hell, and then you win, Ricky. You WIN. And you don t win for anybody else. You win for you, you know why. Because a man takes what he wants. He takes it all. And you re a man, aren t you. Aren t you.
Ricky Bobby: pauses Susan, I ve never heard you talk like that Are we about to get it on. Because I m as hard as a diamond in an ice storm right now.
Ricky Bobby: You sick, sons of bitches. I mean you walk in that door, on your two legs all fat and cocky and lookin at me in my chair. And you tell me its all in my head. I hope that both of you have sons Handsome, beautiful, articulate sons, who are talented and star athletes and they have their legs taken away. I mean I pray you know that pain and that hurt.
Lucius Washington: enraged Don t you put that evil on me, Ricky Bobby. Don t you put that on us. You are NOT paralyzed.
Ricky Bobby: Hey. It s me, America.
Jean Girard: Bon. So, what if you just said: I love really thin pancakes. That is a fair compromise, no.
Kyle: That is a fair compromise.
Herschell: Very fair, actually.
Ricky Bobby: No. Because then everyone would know I really meant crêpes.
Kyle: That s actually a pretty good compromise right there.
Jean Girard: Why do you want me to break your arm so badly.
Ricky Bobby: You don t understand. You don t understand because you don t understand liberty. You don t understand freedom. So you put a crack in my arm like the crack in the Liberty Bell. You hear me.
Cal Naughton, Jr.: leans down to talk to Ricky in a low voice Hey. This is just between you and me, okay. I mean, forget all these other guys. But he did give you a pretty decent out. But it s your call.
Ricky Bobby: whispering What do you think.
Cal Naughton, Jr.: Don t say it.
Ricky Bobby: Yeah. I m not gonna say it. Nope. Break it, Pepé Le Pew.
Jean Girard: As you wish.
He breaks Ricky s arm
Ricky Bobby: in pain He actually did it.
Cal Naughton, Jr.: Shake and bake.
Ricky Bobby: What does that do. Does that blow your mind. That just happened.
Jean Girard: Is that a catchphrase or epilepsy.
repeated line
Ricky Bobby, Cal Naughton, Jr.: Shake and bake.
Ricky Bobby: How was school today, boys.
Walker: I threw a bunch of Grandpa Chip s war medals off the bridge.
Chip is starled
Ricky Bobby: Sounds like a good day. How bout you, TR.
Texas Ranger: The teacher asked me what was the capital of North Carolina. I said Washington, D.C.
Cal Naughton, Jr.: Bingo.
Ricky Bobby: Nice.
Texas Ranger: She said No, you re wrong. I said You got a lumpy butt. She got mad at me and yelled at me and I pissed in my pants and I never did change my pee-pants all day. I m still sittin in my dirty pee-pants.
Cal Naughton, Jr.: I wet my bed until I was nineteen. There s no shame in that.
Cal Naughton, Jr.: Did he just say husband.
Herschell: Wow Dennit hired a gay Frenchman as your teammate.
Ricky Bobby: The room s startin to spin real fast cause of cause of all the gayness. Cal I love you
Ricky faints
Cal Naughton, Jr.: Ricky.Ricky. OH GOD.
from the unrated version
Ricky Bobby: Hey. I lost my license. That s why I m on the bus I m delivering pizzas.
Passenger on Bus: Mothafucka, what makes you think I care. Shut the fuck up.
Ricky Bobby: I- I ve just telling you that cause, like I said, I lost my license. I ve just been having a lot of problems lately.
Passenger on Bus: Problems. I don t want to hear about your damn problems. Everybody s got problems. My momma got problems she just lost her leg. My cousin Pookie just lost a testicle. My dog just threw up somebody s finger. That s a problem.
Ricky Bobby: I really regret opening my mouth and talking to you.
Jean Girard: My name is Jean Girard and I am a racing-car driver just like you except I am from Formula Un. I am the greatest one in the whole world. I have been following your career with great interest, Monsieur Bobby.
Ricky Bobby: I can t understand a word you ve said the whole time.
Cal Naughton, Jr.: Did you eat some peanut butter or something.
Ricky Bobby: Yeah, you sound like a dog with peanut butter on the roof of your mouth
Jean Girard: I think what you are hearing is my accent. I am French.
Ricky Bobby: You say you re French.
Jean Girard: Oui.
sounds like We
Ricky Bobby: We. No, we are not French. We re American, because you re in America, okay. Greatest country on the planet
Jean Girard: Well, what have you given the world apart from George Bush, Cheerios, and the ThighMaster.
Ricky Bobby: Chinese food.
Cal Naughton, Jr.: Chinese food.
Jean Girard: That s from China.
Ricky Bobby: Pizza.
Jean Girard: Italy.
Cal Naughton, Jr.: Chimichanga.
Jean Girard: Mexico.
Ricky Bobby: Really, smarty-pants. What did French land give us.
Jean Girard: We invented democracy, existentialism, and the blowjob.
Cal Naughton, Jr.: Those are three pretty good things.
Ricky Bobby: Hey.
Cal Naughton, Jr.: Well that last one s pretty cool.
Ricky Bobby: television commercial Hi, I m Ricky Bobby. If you don t chew Big Red, then f- bleep you.
Ricky Bobby: I get emotional. You guys are workin so hard, and I m just so proud of you. You remind me of me, precocious and full of wonderment.
Cal Naughton, Jr.: I tell you what, Ricky, you are truly blessed. These two are two in a million, just like Carley s ta-tas. You won t find another rack like that, I guarantee it.
Carley Bobby: Thank you, Cal.
Walker: That s real sweet of you, Cal.
Ricky Bobby: Cal, that s a real nice sentiment. That s about one of the nicest things you ever said.
Cal Naughton, Jr.: Well, I mean it.
Carley Bobby: Stop it, gonna make me cry.
Cal Naughton, Jr.: Comes from the heart.
Chip: I can t hold my tongue. These kids are my grandchildren and you are raising them wrong. They are terrible boys.
Walker: Shut up, Chip, or I ll go ape-shit on your ass.
Texas Ranger: I m gonna scissor-kick you in the back of the head.
Ricky Bobby: Yeah. Now turn up the heat.
Cal Naughton, Jr.: Go on and get some, boys.
Ricky Bobby: Come on.
Walker: I m ten years old, but I ll beat your ass.
Texas Ranger: Chip, I m gonna come at you like a spider monkey.
Cal Naughton, Jr.: Like a spider monkey. Go on.
Ricky Bobby: Chip, you brought this on, man.
Walker: Greatest Generation my ass. Tom Brokaw s a punk.
Chip: What is wrong with you.
Texas Ranger: Chip, I m all jacked up on Mountain Dew.
Ricky Bobby: Dear Lord baby Jesus, lyin there in your ghost manger, just lookin at your Baby Einstein developmental videos, learnin bout shapes and colors. I would like to thank you for bringin me and my mama together, and also that my kids no longer sound like retarded gang-bangers.
Cal Naughton, Jr.: on the telephone Ricky, I think your house is haunted.
Ricky Bobby: Cal, that is a new house. It just has a lot of creaks and moans and groans in it.
pauses
Ricky Bobby: Why the hell am I even talking to you anyway.
Ricky Bobby: If you ain t first, you re last. You know, you know what I m talking about.
to television camera
Ricky Bobby: That there is trademarked, not to be used without written permission of Ricky Bobby, Inc.
Chip: to Ricky Bobby Are you just going to let your sons talk to their grandfather like this.
Ricky Bobby: Hell yes I am. They are winners. That is how winners talk.
Carley Bobby: If we wanted two wussies, we would have named them Dr. Quinn and Medicine Woman.
Ricky Bobby: after a girl flashes him Please be 18.
Ricky Bobby: Well let me just quote the late-great Colonel Sanders, who said I m too drunk to taste this chicken.
Ricky Bobby: Here s the deal I m the best there is. Plain and simple. I wake up in the morning and I piss excellence.
Ricky Bobby: Where are you, Pepé Le Bitch.
Lucius Washington: Okay, we have got to get that car back onto the race track or our sponsors are gonna shit a chicken. Now I m gonna ask you: do any of you guys wanna go fast.
Ricky Bobby: I wanna go fast.
Cal Naughton, Jr.: I had a dream where Jesus was a dirty old bum, and I was about to sock him in the face because, well he s a dirty old bum, but then I thought, there s something special about him
Ricky Bobby: Because it was Jesus, right
Cal Naughton, Jr.: Yeah
Ricky Bobby: while signing autographs I d love to sign your baby.
Ricky Bobby: If you ain t first, you re last.
Lucius Washington: You re not gonna live forever.
Ricky Bobby: No one lives forever, no one. But with advances in modern science and my high level income, it s not crazy to think I can live to be 245, maybe 300. Heck, I just read in the newspaper that they put a pig heart in some guy from Russia. Do you know what that means.
Lucius Washington: No, I don t know what that means. I guess longer life.
Ricky Bobby: No, he didn t live. It s just exciting that we re trying things like that.
Ricky Bobby: Wow. I feel like I m Highlander.
Jean Girard: Jean chuckles, confused What is the Highlander.
Ricky Bobby: It s a movie. It won the Academy Award.
Jean Girard: Oh for what.
Ricky Bobby: Best movie ever made.
Susan: Hi, I m his lady. I m Susan. I painted the car, I we had sex.
Reese Bobby: Is that right.
Susan, Ricky Bobby: Yeah.
Reese Bobby: Well, I wish I coulda been there for that.
Ricky Bobby: Dear 8 pounds 6 ounces new born infant jesus,don t even know a word yet.
Cal Naughton, Jr.: Shake n Bake.
puts hand out
Ricky Bobby: No, never again.
Cal Naughton, Jr.: You re right. I was like a total dick, man.
Ricky Bobby: From now on, you re the Magic Man and I m El Diablo.
Cal Naughton, Jr.: What does Diablo mean.
Ricky Bobby: It s like Spanish for like a fighting chicken.
Ricky Bobby: Wait, Dad. Don t you remember the time you told me If you ain t first, you re last.
Reese Bobby: Huh. What are you talking about, Son.
Ricky Bobby: That day at school.
Reese Bobby: Oh hell, Son, I was high that day. That doesn t make any sense at all, you can be second, third, fourth hell you can even be fifth.
Ricky Bobby: What. I ve lived my whole life by that.
Ricky Bobby: This sticker is dangerous and inconvenient, but I do love Fig Newtons.
Ricky Bobby: Nobody plays jazz at the Pit Stop.
Jean Girard: Then why is the song on the jukebox.
Bartender: We use it for profiling purposes. We also have the Pet Shop Boys and Seal.
Jean Girard: My husband Gregory and I want what any couple wants. To retire to Stockholm and develop a currency for dogs and cats to use.
Ricky Bobby: That s Dumb
Jean Girard: Why is it dumb.
Ricky Bobby: Nah that s dumb
Ricky Bobby: television commercial Hey. I m Ricky Bobby. When you re workin on your mysterious lady parts and stuff, you should have the right tools too. That s why you should use MayPax. The official tampon of NASCAR.
Ricky Bobby: You can t have two number ones.
Cal Naughton, Jr.: Yeah, cause that would be eleven.
Ricky Bobby: I m embarrassed. I really thought I could feel it.
Ricky Bobby: Slingshot: engaged.
Cal Naughton, Jr.: Hey, when you have the stereo and TV on, how do you change the volume on the stereo.
Ricky Bobby: If you have the stereo on Why do you have the stereo on while you re watching TV.
Cal Naughton, Jr.: Cause I like to party.
Reese Bobby: Yep, I guess things are just about perfect it s making me feel kind of itchy
Ricky Bobby: How bout we go get kicked out of an Applebee s.
Ricky Bobby: I ve sent in my application to the Real World. So I m hoping to hear back from that. I m putting A LOT of my eggs into that basket, the MTV basket. I m also thinking about getting a gun, and dealing crack. Being a crack dealer. Not like a mean crack dealer, but like like a nice one. Kinda friendly like, hey, what s up guys. Want some crack. I m just waiting on those two things to flesh themselves out.
Ricky Bobby: Holding hands with a man makes me terribly uncomfortable.
Jean Girard: It s a sign of friendship in many countries.
Ricky Bobby: Well, not here.
Jean Girard: There is nothing sexual about it. Please don t be worried about the fact that I have an erection. Its has nothing to do with you.
Ricky Bobby: Dear Lord Baby Jesus, I want to thank you for this wonderful meal, my two beautiful son s, Walker and Texas Ranger, and my Red-Hot Smokin Wife, Carley
Carley Bobby: raises hands Woo.
Cal Naughton, Jr.: Mhmm.
Walker: along with Texas Ranger Ow.
Ricky Bobby: I m just a big hairy American winning machine, you know.
Ricky Bobby: after driving in reverse to beat McMurray Hey Jamie, losing s never fun, but here s a little something to keep your spirits up.
Gives him the finger
Ricky Bobby: It s real nice. I got it at Target. It was on sale.
Larry Dennit, Jr.: That little obscene gesture is going to cost us a bundle.
Ricky Bobby: With all due respect, I didn t realize you d gotten experimental surgery to get your balls removed.
Lucy Bobby: So how was your day driving with you father.
Ricky Bobby: Well let s see. I got mauled by a cougar, my Crystal Gayle shirt is ruined, and I didn t learn dick about driving. Other than that, it was great.
Ricky Bobby: while people try to restrain him Get back, I ll windmill ya.
Ricky Bobby: It felt like I was on a spaceship
Ricky Bobby: television commercial Oh hey, I m Ricky Bobby.
Cal Naughton, Jr.: And I m Cal Naughton, Jr.
Ricky Bobby: Urging you never to go to Tijuana.
Ricky Bobby: running around on the track in his underwear Help me Jesus. Help me Jewish God. Help me Allah. AAAAAHHH. Help me Tom Cruise. Tom Cruise, use your witchcraft on me to get the fire off me.
Ricky Bobby: television commercial Hey. I m Ricky Bobby. Christmas is right around the corner. And what better gift to give a loved one,
pulls out a huge camping axe
Ricky Bobby: than the Jackhawk 9000. Avaible at Wal-Mart.
Ricky Bobby: Holy moly, that s like lookin up Yasmine Bleeth s skirt.
Ricky Bobby: after seeing the cougar in the car Where did you get it.
Reese Bobby: I trapped it. I ve been keeping it in the bathroom in my motel room.
on Ricky s new corporate sponsor
Susan: Me is you. Because it s just you out there. We don t have any corporate sponsors, we don t have any fancy team owners. We have you. And this car, and this cougar, which symbolizes the fear that you have overcome. It s all there for you.
Glenn: Ricky, this car is like your Excalibur, the mighty sword that Sir Lancelot used to bring together the Knights of the Round Table, until Lancelot betrayed him by laying with his queen
whispers suggestively
Glenn: in the biblical sense.
Ricky Bobby: Okay, Glenn. Everything cool that Susan said, you wrecked it.
Ricky Bobby: I came here to tell you one thing. Come race time tomorrow I m coming for you.
Jean Girard: Do you know why I came to America Monsieur Bobby.
Ricky Bobby: Health care systems, giant water parks. The same reason anyone comes to America.
Jean Girard: I came here for you to beat me.
Ricky Bobby: What are you talking about.
Jean Girard: My husband Gregory and I want only that what every other couple wants. To tame komodo dragons in Sri Lanka and teach them to perform Hamlet but before I can do that
Ricky Bobby: That s dumb.
Jean Girard: It s not dumb.
Ricky Bobby: It is dumb.
Ricky Bobby: I don t know.
Jean Girard: But before I can do that I must be beaten by a driver who is truly better than me.
Ricky Bobby: You saying you re going to lose to me on purpose.
Jean Girard: No.
Ricky Bobby: No.
Jean Girard: NO. I will battle you with the entirety of my heart and you will probably lose. But maybe, just maybe. You might challenge me. The Beatles needed the Rolling Stones. Even Diane Sawyer needed Katie Couric. Will you be my Katie Couric.
Ricky Bobby: Wow I feel like I m in the Highlander.
Jean Girard: What s the Highlander.
Ricky Bobby: It s a movie.
Jean Girard: Oh any good.
Ricky Bobby: Very good. It won the academy award.
Ricky Bobby: Best movie ever made. Look I came here to tell you tomorrow I m coming for you.
Jean Girard: May god be with you Monsieur Bobby. Because although today I am friendly. Tomorrow will be war.
Ricky Bobby: Alright.
Jean Girard: Soon you will know what it is like to be defeated by the hands of somebody who is truly better than you. As William Blake wrote, The cut worm forgives the plow.
Ricky Bobby: Well, let me just quote the late great Colonel Sanders who said I m too drunk to taste this chicken.
Jean Girard: What s that got to do with this.
Ricky Bobby: Yep, flying through the air this is not good.
Ricky Bobby: This sticker is dangerous and inconvenient, but I do love fig newtons.
Cal Naughton, Jr.: Oh and one last question.
Ricky Bobby: Yeah.
Cal Naughton, Jr.: When you have the stereo on, at the same time as the TV, how do you control the volume on the TV.
Ricky Bobby: Why would you want to watch TV with the stereo on.
Susan: Ricky inadvertently begins autographing Susan s forehead No, it s me, it s me, Susan. Your assistant.
Ricky Bobby: Susan you gotta watch it when I get into autograph mode.
Reese Bobby: Now, there s nothing like driving to avoid jail. Nothing hones your mind and your instincts like necessity. So I taped a kilo of cocaine underneath the car and called the boys in blue. Now, the way I figure it, you got about two minutes before they show up and you do 5 to 10. So, what s it going to be. Fear or prison.
Ricky Bobby: Man, what the hell are you talking about.
Reese Bobby: Real simple, son cops are coming, there s a kilo of Colombian bam-bam under the car. Time to be a man. You got hair on your peaches or what.
Reese Bobby: walks into the classroom Excuse me, darling. I m Reese Bobby. I m here for career day with my son, Ricky.
10-year-old Ricky: Dad.
Reese Bobby: Hey there, boy. Man, you got big. How long s it been. Three, four months.
10-year-old Ricky: Ten years.
Reese Bobby: Ten years. Man, I gotta lay off the peyote.
puts a cigarette in his mouth
Schoolteacher: Mr. Bobby, there s no smoking in here.
Reese Bobby: Oh, it s all right, darling, I m a volunteer fireman. Okay, I am a semi-professional racecar driver and an amateur tattoo artist.
Classmates: OOO0HHHH.
Reese Bobby: And the first thing you gotta learn if you re gonna be a racecar driver, is that you don t listen to losers like your know-it-all teacher here.
Schoolteacher: Okay, I think that s enough.
Reese Bobby: Your teacher wants you to go slow, and she s wrong because it s the fastest who get paid and it s the fastest who get laid.
classmates all cheer
Schoolteacher: Okay, next up is Ricky Bobby. Ricky, is your father here.
10-year-old Ricky: No, ma am. I haven t seen my daddy in years. But, my mama say he s out racing cars, and, well, dipping his wick in anything that moves.
classmates laugh at what Ricky said
Schoolteacher: Okay, kids, that s enough. Were gonna move on to Brennan.
10-Year-Old Cal: Don t pay them no mind, Ricky.
10-year-old Ricky: Thanks, Cal. Shake and Bake. You ll be my best friend forever.
The Big Bad Friend trope as used in popular culture. The Hero is looking for answers, beating up bikers, paying off informants and searching through the.
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Ricky Bobby: Dear Lord baby Jesus, we thank you so much for this bountiful harvest of Dominos, KFC, and the always delicious Taco Bell. I just want to take time to.
Ricky Bobby (Character)
Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby 2006 Quotes on IMDb: Memorable quotes and exchanges from movies, TV series and more.
Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby is a 2006 film about the 1 NASCAR driver, who stays atop the heap thanks to a pact with his best friend and teammate.
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Talladega Nights movie lines are Will Ferrell as NASCAR s Ricky Bobby. This is a hilarous movie with great one liners.
Talladega Nights movie lines rating: PG-13
America is all about speed. Hot, nasty, bad ass speed. - Eleanor Roosevelt, 1936
All yall, that s pretty much in a shell what it s like to manage a Waffle House.
Next up is Ricky Bobby. Ricky, is your father here.
No ma am. I haven t seen my daddy in years. But, my mama say he s out racing cars and well dippin his wick anything that moves.
Shake and bake. You ll be my best friend forever
Hey there boy. Well hey, you re big. How long has it been. Three or four months.
Ten years.
Ten years Man, I gotta lay off the peyote.
Mr. Bobby, there s no smoking in here.
Ah it s ok darlin, I m a volunteer fireman.
This is the bottom line. We don t get that car back on the track, our sponsors are gunna shit a chicken. Now, is there anyone out there who wants to go fast. Anybody.
I want to go fast.
Eh Gettem a suit.
His name is Ricky. Ricky Bobby.
Ricky Bobby. He s got two first names.
Absolutely ma am, I d love to sign your baby.
Hey, I m Ricky Bobby. Christmas is right around the corner. What better gift to give a loved one, then the Jack Hawk 9000. Available at Wal-Mart
When you work on your mysterious lady part stuff, you should have the right tools, too. That s you should use Maypax. The official tampon of NASCAR.
Hey I m Ricky Bobby, if you don t chew Big Red then F--K YOU.
Dear tiny Jesus with your golden fleece diapers, with your tiny little fat balled fist
I wet my bed till I was nineteen. Ain t no shame in that.
We go together like cocaine and waffles.
We created the missionary position. You re welcome.
Room s startin to spin real fast cause of cause of gayness.
But let just quote the late great Colonel Sanders who said I m too drunk to taste this chicken
Ricky Bobby, who never met a sponsor who he wouldn t push, has hung a Fig Newton sticker on his windshield.
This sticker is dangerous and inconvenient, but I do love Fig Newtons.
So when you say psychosomatic, you mean like he could start a fire. With his thoughts.
You ll have live rabbits bein pooped out on to a track.
Ricky. Remember, a field mouse is fast, but an owl sees at night.
Close the door or come in. I got weed in here, cowboy.
One of you turds is about to get smacked in the mouth.
You show me the DNA test, maybe I ll say hi to these swamp rats.
Do it Dad, get your balls back.
Fine but, I ain t callin you Daddy.
Well, what you gunna call me.
Alright Professor Dickweed what s the plan.
You gotta learn to drive with the fear. And there ain t nothin more God damned frightening, than drivin with a live cougar in the car.
Why do you like listenin to the T.V, with the stereo on.
Cause I like to party.
Why did ya throw another bucket on me..
Wel I did fill up three.
We have so much to be thankful for. First off, my sons no longer act like retarded gang bangers, also, I got my balls back behind a wheel of a car.
Things were goin good, weren t they..
That s exactly why I had to blow it up. I don t know what organ or bone people have that makes em act right, but I was born without it. I m no good
I ve moved on. Sent my application in to the real world. So, I hopin to hear back from that. I m putting a lot of my eggs in that basket the MTV basket. I m also thinkin about gettin a gun. And, dealin crack. Being a crack dealer. But not a mean crack dealer. But, like a nice one.
Are we about to get it on. Cause I m as hard as a diamond in an ice storm right now.
Everyone turn away. Things are gunna get crazy
They are like twins born from different wombs.
Abbracadabbra, holmes
Time to let the cougar loose.
It was like a tractor beam of hotness
Well, if it isn t our mangy, transient grandfather
Well said, Grandson, I ll take that as a compliment.
Yep. Ya I think things are pretty much perfect, right now. It s makin me a little itchy
Talladega Nights Review
Director: Adam McKay
Writers: Will Ferrell and Adam McKay
Released: August 4, 2006
Movie length: 108 / 122 minutes unrated version
Cast: Gary Cole - Reese Bobby
Jane Lynch - Lucy Bobby
Jason Davis - Waffle House Manager
Jake Johnson - 5-year-old Ricky
Lorrie Bess Crumley - Schoolteacher
Luke Bigham - 10-Year-Old Ricky
Austin Crim - 10-Year-Old Cal
Michael Clarke Duncan - Lucius Washington
Will Ferrell - Ricky Bobby
John C. Reilly - Cal Naughton, Jr.
Adam McKay - Terry Cheveaux
David Koechner - Herschell
Ian Roberts - Kyle
Jack McBrayer - Glenn
John D. King - ESPN Reporter
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